Fourth Time’s The Charm?

Day 365

Not very long ago I wrote on this very blog about the end of my third 365 photo a day project and pretty much vowed that I would never do another one. That was in December of 2011 and by January of the next year I had caved in and started my fourth project. And now, exactly 461 (I’m more than 100 days late!) days later, I’m ready to end my fourth project and say with almost 100% certainty that my 365 days are behind me.

Day 1

My reasons for starting another project based around daily photos and journaling last year was because I felt like within those 12 months things in my life were going to be filled with really exciting opportunities that I wanted to try to document. It was true I was surprised with a lot of incredible experiences and I’m glad that I was able to try and interpret them into photographs.

My fourth 365 project was very different from the other’s that I’ve completed. For the first 6 months I was very strict, shooting every day and posting that night. It was draining at times and there were many days in the spring where I was running about 15-20km a night to train for a marathon, grabbing my camera as soon as I was done and shooting for an hour just to get the last bits of light. This started to wear on me and by June I was really unhappy with my work, I was shooting in the wrong light, not thinking of solid concepts, and rushing my editing and I was frustrated. The nature of this type of project is quantity, it’s like a machine making an image a day and by the time summer rolled around I was burning out. I had stopped taking care of myself and my relationships, mostly because of my own internal pressure to try to come up with the next great idea. Instead of taking the time to cook healthy meals, I was surviving on peanut butter and jam sandwiches and apples and spending too much time on the computer and not enough time enjoying all the other parts of my life.

I feel like my turning point was the Midwest Meetup in Indiana in July. It forced me to stop my routine of work, run, shoot, edit, repeat. I felt like I could breathe, I felt like I wasn’t being tied down by a project that even though I had voluntarily agreed to was making me feel like I wasn’t good enough. As a fiercely determined and stubborn person, I like to do a project and see it through and quitting was never an option. After the meetup I started to relax a bit, I took some days off (unheard of!) and let myself shoot when the mood struck and started to become less paranoid about being “on the right day” of the project. In doing this, I felt much better. I felt inspired and motivated and wanted to create work that I was really proud of and now looking back I do feel much more pride in the months following this “intervention”.

midwest gathering – photo by Shane Black

The last 365+ days have truly been incredible. I never would have anticipated all the wonderful experiences that came my way during the course of this project. I travelled to Vancouver, Indiana, Detroit, California, Las Vegas, and Atlanta. I finally met with so many of my photography idols and friends and got to see their talent and beautiful spirits in person. I ran my 4th marathon in my fastest time. I was nominated for an award that took me to an awards show filled with some of the most talented photographers in the world. I was able to pick up a book with my photo on the cover for the first time, I was hired by two magazines to create work for them, I saw my photos on Oprah.com, The Daily Mail, and blogged by celebrities. But most importantly I was able to spend a year (and a bit) expressing myself, my fears and goals through photography and feel so supported and appreciated and understood.

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I highly suggest doing a photography project, whether it’s a 52 week project or a 365 project. These projects allow you to grow, to test yourself and to force your mind to stay sharp. It’s an amazing feeling to go back and see how work and styles and visions can change over the course of a year in your life.

I’m very excited to see where my next adventures take me and I know that my camera will always be there to help me document where I go and who I meet and help me tell the stories that I see in my mind. I have some projects that I can’t wait to start and even though I might miss going out and shooting a photo every day, I’m excited about allowing myself to grow in all ways.

You can view my entire 365 project here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/joel_r/sets/72157629005806697/with/6752321431/

Anti-Bullying Day – Change Starts With Each Of Us

Here in Canada, the last Wednesday of February is designated as “Anti-Bullying Day”. An opportunity for people across the country to stand together and try to eliminate bullying from schools,workplaces, and online. This falls into place almost perfectly as I have been trying to write a post on bullying for quite some time now.

Bullying is a situation that is all too familiar to many of us and unfortunately it seems to growing in impact and growing in frequency. While I strongly support and believe in having a day to focus on this problem, it’s an issue that needs attention every day, not just one.

Be Kind

I have a very personal connection to bullying, in several ways. I was bullied, a lot. More so than I think most people in my own personal life realize or know as I’ve managed to keep it tucked deep inside. I’ve also seen it firsthand in the schools that I’ve worked in. It exists not only in these physical spaces but in the online spaces we frequent as well. I’ve seen my friends, my fellow artists all being bullied for their choice in subject, their talent, their personalities, most often these verbal/online attacks are done anonymously. I thought that I would share with you my own story of bullying, I feel that it has played an integral role in my life and that it has helped to shape the person that I am and even the kind of work that I do, both artistically and professionally. This is probably the most personal and sensitive topic that I’ve ever written about and aside from a small handful of close people in my life, I haven’t shared this with anyone.

I remember the very first time that I was truly bullied. I had been teased growing up, for having a big nose or for wearing the wrong style of shoes and all that insignificant stuff that happens as a young person growing up. But when I reached the 9th grade, things changed. A small group of older guys suddenly chose me as their target, I was small and quiet and I think they sensed all of my insecurities. As fate would have it, I found myself in a math class seated directly in front of 2 of these guys. For months they would stealthily torment me, shining laser pens at my glasses so it would reflect back into my eyes, flicking staples at the back of my neck, whispering names that still make my skin crawl each time that I walked to sharpen a pencil or hand in my work. I was starting to get good at ignoring it all until one day, a Wednesday in fact, when I finally needed an escape. I excused myself from class and walked to the farthest bathroom, a chance to get even a few more minutes of peace. I gave myself 5 minutes, just to stand in the bathroom and not be around anyone else or listen to anything, just to let myself silently cry and try to muster the patience to finish the class. Just as I was about to leave, the two guys from my class swung in through the door and blocked it shut with a garbage can. It was one of those situations where time both freezes and speeds up at the same time, like a car accident or a roller coaster. In one motion, the taller of the two had grabbed me by the jaw and shoved me into the corner. I don’t remember much of what they said to me, it all sounded muffled and like another language. I remember them saying “I should like it” and they laughed. In what seemed like hours but was probably only seconds, the taller one pulled my head up, opened my mouth with his fingers and spit into it. I don’t know why I froze, but I couldn’t move. In this frozen haze I stood there as they laughed at me, spit on me, got their faces nose to nose with mine so closely that I could smell old cigarettes and see my own face in the reflection of their eyes. The principal’s office was mere steps away but I stood and took it. The finale of this two-minute torture was one of the most dehumanizing moments of my life, in a swift motion they grabbed my head and shoved into a urinal, kicked me once each time in the back and left. I remember my glasses cutting into the bridge of my nose and how cold the porcelain was as I pulled myself up. I remember spitting blood into the sink from where my braces had cut my cheeks from being squeezed so hard. I remember smelling of urine and cigarette and embarrassment and yet, I did what so many kids do when they are faced with situations like this or worse, I pretended like it never happened. I washed my face, straightened my glasses and walked back to my class. I walked in and sat just a few feet away from those two same guys who now had smug smiles on their faces. I sat there in that desk every day until the end of that school year and never told anyone.

I kept that story and all the other times that followed, the times I was spit on, had my homework ripped up in front of me, been called names that felt like hot knives in my skin had my hands held behind my back as a group of kids stole money out of my pocket, a secret until just a few years ago. And why? Because I didn’t want to make it worse and because I didn’t think anyone would actually care. And that, is the saddest part of any story that you will hear about bullying. That kids don’t tell because they don’t think that anyone will care or that by getting help it will make it worse. I wish I had told, I wish that I had been strong enough to stand up for myself but I didn’t, and because I didn’t it sent a message to those guys and every other bully in my school that it was ok to do what they did. I started to tell one friend, a few years ago, parts of this story and her response was “well you didn’t tell me this as it was happening so how can I believe that it actually did?” Her reply was the exact one that I feared getting, the response that so many kids fear, that people won’t believe them and that they’ll be made to feel like their experiences are lies. Just because someone didn’t tell you, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Free Your Mind

Bullying is not an isolated event, it doesn’t just happen once to one person in a city far away. It happens all the time to people in your classrooms, in your homes, in your families. Just because you’re not hearing about it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen it just means that there is still too much fear in the way of getting help. I now find myself in an interesting situation, I work in the same schools that I was bullied in. I’ve been in the bathroom that I was attacked in, I walk through the halls everyday that 10 years ago I hated and felt like an insignificant nobody in. But now, it’s changed. Through these experiences and through my own discovery and healing and trust in other people I’ve learned that an end to bullying doesn’t start and end with the bullies themselves. It starts with me. It starts with you. It starts with those that were bullied, that have children who are and were bullied and it starts with those who have never been bullied. We need to stand up together in a united force that says to the sensitive minds and hearts of those around us that we care for them and we’re here to help and protect them and that  it is not okay to belittle or discriminate, taunt or tease, abuse or attack ANYone. That difference in ability, gender, race, sexual preference, identity or mannerism does not give anyone the right to use that as a weapon to bring someone down. Change starts with each of us making the communities, both local and global one that supports each other and protects each other. The anti-bullying campaign is as much a pro-support and pro-change campaign, we can’t focus on just the bullies themselves, for many of them it wouldn’t matter, they would continue to do what they do. But if we can create an environment in our homes and schools and friends that is safe enough for those that we care about to say “I’ve been bullied” or “this is what happened” we can then start to deal with the problems. For me, I had seen posters denouncing bullying my whole life, but I didn’t ‘feel’ support, I didn’t see in the faces of my teachers that there was care enough for me to help me. That responsibility lies in us. I see bullying in the faces of kids in the school that I work in, I see bullying in the ways that my own friends have been treated online, and I see it even in the way that adults interact with each other. It’s up to those of us that have had enough to decide what is acceptable in our society, and bullying isn’t one of them.

So, for this Anti-Bullying Day, I challenge you to make your communities a safer place for all in it. Help me and those around you create a kinder and more supportive environment that helps to foster diversity and acceptance but also shows those that are intolerant of other people’s differences that they aren’t the ones with all the power.  I was recently asked why so many of my photos have messages in them, sometimes literally and sometimes figuratively and my answer was this:

I feel that my own life is a collection and reflection of the experiences that I’ve been witness to. In my own art I hope to create images that when someone sees them, they feel something. I  want someone to see a photo of mine that says “Be Kind” or “Be The Change” or has a peace symbol in it to know that I care. I care about a world that is loving and kind and that cares about the other people in it. That is why I do what I do and why I think that it’s important to be a voice of change. I create these pieces for myself, to remind myself to be kind, to be loving, to give back. I create them for those that feel hurt, that feel alone or isolated and I hope that they see my work and feel connected, they feel a kindred heart out there wanting them to keep going. I create them for the bullies too, in hopes that if they see enough messages of kindness and goodness that they’ll start to realize that hate is the minority. All we can do though, is change on behalf of each of us.

I’ll leave this with a simple quote that means so much to be that I have it permanently marked on my wrist

“You Must Be The Change You Wish To See In The World” – Mahatma Gandhi

and I highly suggest you watch this powerful video by Canadian poet Shane Koyczan

Be The Change

Humbled

It’s taken me almost a full day to write this simple but meaningful post.  So far, even though we are just two weeks into this new year, my photography journey has entered a speed tunnel. There have been many kind articles and blog posts, some exciting opportunities to travel and teach, and contests to enter to hopefully fuel my journey for months to come.

But yesterday, I received some news that truly left me without words. I checked my phone during the a break between classes and saw a post from a friend saying “congratulations your nomination!”.  Nomination!? For what? I quickly looked a bit closer and found out that I had been nominated for an amazing award sponsored by the Framed Network, an incredible network aimed at elevating photography to new heights. Not only was I absolutely floored at being nominated but when I saw who else was in my category, Best Conceptual Photographer, I was floored. To see names like my friend Brooke Shaden, the amazing Kristy Mitchell, an inspiration Aaron Nace and the master  Jerry Uelsmann was truly humbling. To see my name next to these talented artists is truly a highlight of my photography life.

In the past few years I’ve been turning my entire focus towards creating art. I’ve completed three 365 projects with one in progress, I’ve travelled across the continent to meet with fellow artists and work alongside them, I’ve spent hours taking photos, editing photos, sharing my photos and creating ideas for more photos. I’ve been so happy with my work that I’ve literally jumped in the air and I’ve been so frustrated with my work that I’ve cried and almost given up. I’ve locked myself in my house, I’ve ignored sunny days and opportunities to participate in other interests. All because I love photography. I love being able to express my dreams, my ideas and my goals and I love being able to share that with you.

Each nominee deserves this award. They inspire me and motivate me to keep creating and I’m truly honored to be nominated. That said, I would love to win this award as well. It would be an amazing accomplishment and I would greatly greatly appreciate it.

Please vote for me at  www.framedawards.com/artists  -> Best Conceptual Photographer.

Thank you so much for helping start off my year in the most amazing way!

Los Angeles Flickr Gathering – Recap

I’ve been staring at this computer screen all day trying to figure out how to put into words how incredible the last week has been. On December 28th I, along with 50 other talented photographers from across the continent, set out for Los Angeles to attend a meetup hosted by David Talley. This was my fourth photography meetup and although it’s hard to pick favourites, this one was very special.

It is a surreal moment when you see a car full of your friends, wielding telescopes and big smiles pull up to the airport. It was literally a burst of sunlight to arrive in California, escaping the many inches of snow here in Canada. The first few hours together were spent laughing around a roaring fire pit, telling stories and getting to know each other. Every time a new person would arrive, they were welcomed with cheers and hugs and our small group grew larger and larger.

 

The first day we set out for a nearby park, half our group opting for a forested area and the other half for an open field area. Even though it was sprinkling down rain and our feet quickly became heavy with mud, we were like bees. Photoshoots popped up all over the place, with outfit changes, impromptu props made from nearby flowers and cacti and there a definite burst of creativity in the air. At times I just looked out, clutching my camera, and just watched all these talented artists creating their work. Natalie Zigdon, the editor of the beautiful Grae Magazine arrived to take some behind the scenes photos for an entire issue showcasing the meetup and she was quickly included into our busy group. Despite the rain and mud, this day was so bright and warm, just by the people involved in making it happen.

On the 30th, we attended a Flickr hosted photowalk to Sturtevant Falls. It was really cool to join staff from Flickr.com along with local photographers on the walk along the creek and cabins to the waterfalls. Our group was huge, with almost 100 photographers roaming the trails. I was so happy to get to meet one of my photography friends and inspirations Ted of Ted Craig Photography. We’ve been friends for a few months now and I was honored to work alongside him in a photo. It’s always so great to get to meet fellow artists who not only share a passion for photography but also have similar ethics and morals, I felt like Ted and I had known each other for years.

        

 

We spent a few hours at the falls, capturing many photos in the process. I can’t wait to see everyone’s interpretations of the same spot. On the way back to the parking lot we took our time, exploring the tiny  cabins and beautiful canopies of lush trees and ferns. One thing I’ve learned that when you travel with a group of photographers, even the shortest walk takes a very long time as we like to stop for everything!  Never would I have imagined that this place existed so close to a huge city, it reminded me a lot of Vancouver. After the walk, we explored Pasadena, creating a flashmob inside a candy shop and enjoying each other’s company.

 

That evening, the generous and talented Carolyn Hampton and family hosted the entire group of us for dinner at their house. We arrived to big hugs and a warm fireplace, it felt like family gathering and I’ll never forget that evening. She set up a christmas photobooth so we could take funny photos of our ugly christmas sweaters and I laughed until I cried. Later, we took turns making fools out of ourselves (aside from the few people with actual dancing skills) while playing Just Dance, somehow I even got pushed up for a turn and I dread seeing the videos of THAT. The evening was perfect.

  

 

On the 31st after a slowish star, we set out for the abandoned Los Angeles Zoo for some photos and it was a cool spot to explore and take some photos. I’m pretty sure we confused a lot of people who were casually walking around the park but it was fun to be able to see people coming up with concepts on the spot and I really enjoyed being able to watch people shoot in their style.

  

 

After the zoo we headed up to the Griffith Observatory to watch the sunset over the city. Pulling up under the Hollywood sign and watching my friends running around, posing for photos, laughing and hugging made me feel so blessed to be wrapping up an amazing year with them. We stayed long enough to watch the sun dip below the horizon, bathing all of us in a warm glow of orange and then headed back to David’s house for a party.

     

 

We celebrated both Shane Black’s birthday and the New Year and there were enough bottles of sparkling apple juice and balloons to make us all happy. We went outside to countdown the new year and as we watched fireworks shoot overhead, I felt proud to be where I was with these friends, convinced that 2013 will be the year that changes my life in the best possible way. I went to sleep that night with a smile on my face.

   

 

On the first day of 2013 we headed out for the beach and it was the best possible way to start off the new year. I had never taken photos at the ocean before so I was excited to come up with some concepts and enjoy the sand and sun. I’ve learned through these meetups that whenever we arrive at a location, I need a good 10 minutes alone to survey the scene, see where the light is and come up with a plan of action. After I had settled in I shot a few concepts with two of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met, Anna Skahill and Olivia Clemens. Everywhere I looked, there were photoshoots going on.

  

 

 

By the time I had finished my shooting, we were ready to head over to another beach. The two spots couldn’t have been more different from each other, while the first location was sandy beach, the second was rocky and filled with small tidal pools. The sun was setting fast but I managed to explore some amazing rock formations and shot a few photos, including one of Natalie Hampton just as the sun was setting. A perfect way to end the day.

January 2nd was our last full day together and we decided to head up to Mount Baldy to explore the snow. We headed up the windy road, stopping at a beautiful forested area to take photos. That spot was one of my favourite of the trip, just a secluded dirt road with so many interesting little places to stop and take photos. When we finally arrived at the snow, I must admit it was kind of funny watching all these people who don’t normally shoot in snow slipping and sliding around saying things like “it’s so cold!” It made me smile, just a bit

 

My favourite part of these meetups is watching the group just explode in creativity, within a few minutes of us arriving, there were costumes on and props being carried around. There were photoshoots in every direction you could look in and I loved watching it all happen. After the sun went down and we had taken our last photos, we headed to Mt.Baldy lodge for one more family dinner together and we filled the restaurant with laughter.

That night and the next morning were difficult. Saying goodbye after only a few days together was really tough for a lot of us. When you find a group of friends who are as talented, kind, and loving as those were at this meetup, it’s not easy to say goodbye. Every few hours we would have to go through a ritual of hugs, tears and “I’m so proud to call you my friend”s. Chasing the cars as they drove down the street to the airport. Before long on the 3rd there were only a few of us left and a small group of us headed for Malibu for one last day at the beach together.

The beach in Malibu was probably one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been to. The rock caves and walls literally took my breath away. Peter brought me to a cave that was literally the size of my apartment and I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to be standing where I was, soaking in the sun and feeling the pacific ocean washing over my feet.

 

That afternoon I was able to fulfill a huge dream of mine, to work with my good friend and inspiration Brooke Shaden. Brooke and I have been friends for a few years but haven’t had the chance to meet up until this gathering. On Thursday we took turns taking photos of each other and it really was a dream come true to not only take a photo of her, but for her to ask me to be included in her photo. It was probably the best possible way to wrap up this trip.

“We Survived” by Brooke Shaden

After a dinner out, and some more difficult goodbyes a smaller group of us headed to Carolyn’s house for the night so we could spend a few more hours together before I had to fly home. That night was filled with so much light and happiness that I’m pretty sure it helped me not feel so sad about leaving. The next morning was almost impossible for me to get through, having to say goodbye to my friends, people who understand me, who support me and inspire me was tough. It’s so energizing to be around those people and to say goodbye is really not easy to do.

In the end, this gathering much like the others I’ve been to, have cemented the desire and passion I have for photography and have made my path towards creating full-time even clearer. Even though we are all thousands of miles apart I can still feel the creative energy and I have such a strong motivation to continue to work hard at making this dream come true.  I feel so blessed to have had this opportunity to be around so many creative and talented artists and I’m even luckier to be able to call them my friends. I cannot wait until the next time we are all able to stand around a campfire and laugh together.

Thank you LAFG2013

 

Lessons Learned

I’ve always been the type of person who tries to see each experience and situation as a potential learning opportunity. I like to analyze things and find ways to make something better, to try something new or to see how it can change things in my own life. This year has been one of the biggest learning lessons for me. I’ve felt that in the past 11 months I’ve had a lot of opportunities to learn more about myself, to learn about the world around me, to learn how to be better and do better and how to move towards the goals I have in life.

I learned not to take everything so seriously and that it’s ok to take a break. For the past few years I’ve put myself into the habit of creating an image or photograph every single day. Mostly because I liked it, but also because I’m stubborn and don’t like to feel like I’ve missed a goal. Eventually, the need to create started to creep up on my desire to create and I found myself scrambling to come up with ideas and making photographs that  I wasn’t proud of. I was shooting in the wrong light, in the wrong location, editing too quickly and making errors..all because I felt my own internal pressure to have something to produce for that day. It was as though my day didn’t amount to anything if I didn’t post a photograph. Combine that with working a full-time job, being in a relationship, training for a marathon and the regular daily stuff I was starting to burn out. Thankfully, I went on a trip to Indiana to meet and photograph with friends and photographers and the trip truly changed my outlook. I was forced to take a break from my self-imposed pressure and I began to feel as though tiny weights were  being unclipped from my mind. Suddenly I felt more passionate about photography, I felt like my world slowed down for  a second and that I had time to look and see and feel again. When I came home from that trip I saw my own photography journey as less of a sprint to get photos out and more of a marathon a long journey with many miles and views. I learned that it was not the end of the world if I didn’t post a photo each day, that if I wanted to go for a hike or meet a friend for coffee or simply stay in and watch tv all day, I could and that didn’t make me less of a photographer or put a negative mark on me in any way. It seems silly to me now to say that I once felt like that but I did and I’m thankful to have learned the lesson to slow down.

I learned to distance myself from “the online bad guys”. I’ve spent much of my time in the last year trying to build up my photography business and online presence. Posting on Flickr, Facebook, Instagram and other websites has been the main driving point to where I am today and I wouldn’t have any many of the amazing opportunities had I not been so active in these social outlets. But, as I’ve learned this year, for every positive note and comment there can be someone looking to bring to you down. A few months ago I posted a blog post on my feelings around copyright infringement and uncredited sharing of my work. I wrote it solely for the purpose of sharing my own personal feelings and to get my mind clear on the subject.  Shortly after, an image of mine (which was taken and edited without permission) was posted on a popular Facebook page and things took a bit of a nasty turn. My friends and supporters of my work, quickly began linking my photography page and the post I wrote in the comments and by the time I became aware of the whole situation,  a sort of wildfire had broken out. While I appreciate people standing up for me, the other people posting comments on the post were not so enthusiastic and I started to receive some pretty nasty comments, messages and emails. Up until this point I hadn’t ever really experienced much of the negative side of social media. It took the wind out of my sail for a few days and I wasn’t sure how to respond.  It was my older brother who finally said something that helped. He said that “there are people in the world who have nothing to do  than to enjoy the anonymous act of making other people feel bad, because they can. They won’t think about it the next day or the next week even though you’ve been hurt. These aren’t the people who you should spend your energy on, it’s the people who support you that you should focus on”. Even though it seemed totally obvious, it made sense and it changed the way I looked at social media and my interactions with it. Now, when I get a comment or a negative message, I either try to ignore it or I try to find something positive to focus on instead,. This image below was inspired by a message that I received a few weeks ago telling me that I was self-centered and that I shouldn’t believe that the world revolves around me (I don’t think that at all…) so instead of feeling hurt, I turned it into inspiration to create.  The lesson of distancing myself from ‘haters’ is one that has taken a while and one that I’ve struggled with the most, but it’s helped me to become a more positive and focussed person.

I’ve learned to be more organized. If you know me, you will know that I am unorganized, a bit messy, and sometimes a little forgetful. I’ve always been that way and while I know that it drives some people crazy, it’s not something that I find I can fix easily. With that said, this year I’ve had to learn to become more organized. It started around March when, after being featured on a popular literature blog, I had a few busy days in my Etsy print shop. I found myself one day looking at our living room floor which was now covered in envelopes, prints, address labels and business cards and having a mild panic attack. I knew at that point that I was going to have to be more organized. Shortly after that I started making a weekly list, inspired by Alex Beadon. Each sunday I spend about 30 minutes going over the next week and all the things I have to do that week, broken down into categories:  mailing stuff, photo stuff, random stuff, emailing stuff.  I star the ones that have to be done right away and I highlight them as I finish them. It’s rather neat to be able to go back in the book and see all the things that I’ve managed to get done (or put off) for the past few months and even though I’m still fighting the messy desk and scattered email inbox, I feel much more in charge of my photography business.

And finally, I’ve learned the true value of friendship (cue “awwwwws”). I’ve always had a difficult time feeling totally comfortable around people and in most cases feeling like my friendships were working. I’ve distanced myself from a lot of people in the last few years and through this have found myself rather isolated. Thankfully, this year I’ve been so fortunate to make and build some truly incredible friendships with people who I feel not only understand me but also think in the same way I do. Through the benefits of social media I’ve been able to collaborate and have incredible conversations with friends from around the world and I’m so thankful to have been able to attend three meetups (soon to be four) and be able to build these friendships in real life. I think I started to forget the value in friendship and the value in not being totally introverted. I don’t think I can ever say thank you enough to the hilarious and inspiring friends that I’ve been so fortunate to make this year.

So, as this year comes to a close I look back and feel that as difficult as it was (even though some of it was self-imposed) I’ve come out of it all with a better understanding of myself, of what I want in my life and how I can get there. I feel that I’ve grown up this year, that I’ve validated myself and become more confident in my own mind and in my photography and that I’m heading in the right direction.
Thank you to all of you, who read this blog, who leave me positive and uplifting comments and messages and who continue to help me learn and grow.

The “Borrowed” Photographer

I’ve been meaning to write this blog post for a while but each time I sit down to start writing, I get overwhelmed with frustration and I end up walking away from the computer. The topic of this blog post is one that I’ve been dealing with for a few months now and I’ve been seeing my photographer friends tackling as well. The issue of having your art “borrowed”.   Calling it “borrowing” is probably too nice a term, in short, this blog is about stealing another’s work, editing it and then posting it without credit.

Back in November of last year I came across an article that talked about google’s new search feature that allowed people to upload a photo (or paste an image url) into the search box and see if that photo existed anywhere else on the internet. Curious, I put in a few of my photos and within a few minutes I found myself knee-deep in my own images. Now, I’m not complaining about my images being shared with credit on websites like Tumblr or Pinterest, for the most part those sites have increased traffic to my own work and quite often contain links to my original posts, I appreciate it when someone likes my work enough to share it with my information attached. What I saw though through these google searches were my images posted to various websites, with text plastered overtop, the colours or tones altered and in some cases a watermark of someone else’s name covering up MY photo.

I’ve talked about this to many people in different situations, with photographers and non-photographers, with friends with legal backgrounds and with people who own their own photography businesses. The reaction I got was mainly the same, that I should feel frustrated, outraged, upset and a bit vandalised. When I looked at the  images that I had put my own heart and mind and energy into creating, that had personal meaning to me now changed or altered or made into jokes, it hurt. I felt like someone had broken into my house, found the things that mattered the most to me and then broke them or splashed paint all over them.

Now I realized that I do have a part in this. In posting my images online, I’m opening myself up to having images accessible for people to do whatever they like. Unfortunately we live in a society now where there is a mentality of “I see it, I like it, it’s mine now”.  There is a growing feeling that if something exists online, it doesn’t have an owner, that it’s open to take and treat as you like. Yes I post my photos online on Flickr and Facebook but does that mean that I’m opening the door to edit my images? Would these people who took my photos, opened up Photoshop and stuck their logos or words or presets over my images do the same thing in an art gallery? Would they walk up to a painting and take out some crayons and add a quote from a movie or draw their own watermark in the corner? I would hope not, but does the fact that my work exists primarily online make it any less important?

One image in particular has been taken over by “the internet”. 

 

This photo, taken in 2011, has been used so many times that I now don’t even feel a connection to it. I don’t see it as my own work, even though I’m IN the photo. In a way, I wish I had never taken it and at times I resent it because it makes me feel totally devalued as a photographer. It’s a tough position to feel especially as it’s one of the biggest sellers in my print shop, I SHOULD feel proud and happy that people enjoy my image but in this case, I don’t.  In the past month alone I’ve received 19 messages from friends and contacts informing me that it was posted on various websites or Facebook pages. After checking through them all, only 2 had linked to my original photo (which didn’t have the bad grammar on it) and in total the image had been shared over 15,000 times on Facebook alone. A big thanks goes to diligent friends and family who informed the people posting and commenting that the image is mine and linked to my original.   I started reading through the comments people were making and while most said “cool” or “that’s just like me” some of them were rude, they made fun of my appearance and clothing, criticized my work or assumed that I was isolated and lonely, addicted to computer games and had no life. I had to close everything down walk away, it was then that I decided to actually commit to writing this post, if only to get out my feelings on this subject.

I work hard at my photography. I try to constantly improve both my artistic abilities and my business opportunities and I feel that in moving them both forward, it opens up this new chapter of dealing with “stolen work”. As a sensitive person, it affects the way that I view my work and it makes me uneasy about sharing it as much as I do.  There have been many times in the last few months that I’ve been tempted to just “leave” the internet, let my images float endlessly in the world-wide web and focus on being a physical photographer and not a digital/social media based one. BUT, that’s not who I am. It’s not how I’ve grown, I’ve grown because I share my work with the world and because I know that people enjoy it and find inspiration or humour or a kindred spirit. As much as it hurts to see my work and the work of my friends being used without permission, I feel like the powerful feelings of support, appreciation, and love for art override those negatives that come from the few that decide to “borrow” from others.

My friend and fellow photographer Sarah Ann Loreth has been sharing her stolen images that she has come across on her Facebook page and I’ve been collecting the ones I’ve found, I’m not sure what I’m going to do with them but I thought I’d post some here, not to point fingers at people but to illustrate a point, that stealing whether it’s an online photo or not, isn’t cool. Here are just 50 of some of the images I have come across.

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 There are photographers behind photos that are trying to find their footing, trying to build a name and carve a space in this medium and it’s a disheartening feeling to see your photos totally altered and posted without any notice to who the artist is. The internet has made it easy to steal, but it’s just as easy to give credit.  If you use Tumblr or Pinterest or even Facebook, add a link to the original. If you don’t KNOW who the artist is, use the google feature and I’m sure that you’ll find out in a matter of minutes. There is a fine line between appreciating someone’s work and stealing it for your own gain/popularity/or use, don’t cross that line because it’s not a good feeling to be on the other end.

The Power of Positive Thinking

It’s All About Staying Focussed

Okay, the title is pretty heavy on the photography pun but really this blog post is all about how to stay focussed on what you love and how I (try) to stay organized and in touch with what I want to achieve in photography and in the rest of the areas in my life.

Now, if you know me in ‘real life’ you’re probably laughing at the fact that I, Joel Robison, the one with the messy desk drawers and the one who is perpetually losing his keys, remote, phone, etc….is writing a blog post on being organized. I would say that for me, it’s one of the goals that I’ve been working on the longest. I am not, by any definition of the word, organized. I operate most efficiently in some sort of chaos, which I think is true for most creative people. I like to have my tools accessible, I like to see what I have to work with, not keep it all neatly arranged inside a box. For me, that image of the two sides of the human brain is pretty much an accurate visualization of who I am, a total right brain…..a bit messy, colourful and usually not staying in one place for very long.

I used to think it was kind of silly that some people needed to write lists or keep a day planner to stay organized. I felt that I was able to just log it into my brain and there it would be forever, which is true….it stays there along with the hundred million other things I think about during the day. Around July of last year I found myself coming up with concept ideas and then forgetting about them when the time came to work on photos, thus began my Mind Map Journal.

 

 

If you’re not familiar with mind mapping , it’s pretty much the artistic version of a brainstorm. There are no rules, there are no guidelines…it’s just get those ideas out on paper any way you want. I decided to make a recycled journal from a cereal box and cover it with a drawing of some cameras to make it easy to spot. Essentially on each page I start with a word, phrase, idea or theme and then shoot out different concepts out from the centre.

For me, this way of staying organized is the easiest to do, it’s all contained in one book and I don’t have to keep it in lines or point form, I can doodle, scratch things out, colour it in…whatever!  My mind map quickly became my daily companion, I would bring it everywhere, just in case i had an idea, I could write it down and let it go for a while. When I did come back and revisit one of the ideas I had written down, I coloured it in yellow. It’s a relief of sorts to have this book, it’s like an answer key to concepts…when I’m stuck for ideas I can flip through this book and read through the pages and say “oh right! I was going to do “_________” photo!”

Another way I’ve been trying to stay more organized and in the present moment is to sketch out my ideas before I try to photograph them. I feel that this helps create a clearer image in my mind of what exactly I’m going for. To me, drawing and photography really help build each other up, if I sketch out composition, I feel like I’m more aware of it during a photo shoot and it really makes me happy to see the same idea in two different mediums.

 

 

How do you try to organized and focussed on what you love?

Open Happiness

Well this is it! The big reveal of my brand new project that’s been next to impossible to keep a secret for the past month or so!

The short of it is that I’m doing a flickr-based project with…..Coca Cola!

Here are the details.

Coca-Cola is looking for ways to engage their fans and to encourage them to create imagery and content in an fun and inspirational way, which is the purpose of this brand new project. Using inspiring and motivating key words, fans and photographers can share their photos and stories through the official Coca-Cola Flickr group, hopefully growing a community of like-minded, supportive and talented artists creating fun and exciting new works of art inspired by Coca-Cola.

My role in this new adventure will be a kind of moderator to the Flickr community in the group, I’ll be introducing the new themes which will be posted every 2 weeks and in doing so I’ll be presenting my own photograph inspired by the key-word as well as explaining my inspiration behind the image and a bit of the process of how it was created.

I’m honestly still a bit stunned that I’m going to be working alongside such a well known and respected company and that they appreciate my work enough to have me be a part of this new project. Coca-Cola has always had distinct and beautifully crafted advertisting campaigns and imagery and to know that my work, even in the tiniest way, can be a part of such a great history is really a huge confidence boost in regards to photography.

The best part of this whole project is that it’s not just me partaking in it, the group is open to everyone and I REALLY want to see you join and play along, while I can’t say too much about the upcoming themes, I can say that they should prove to be inspiring and fun photo prompts!

The first key word or call-to-action is

TOGETHER

You can see my interpretation as well as my thoughts on the theme and submit your own image inspired by “Together” at the flickr group which is located here:
http://www.flickr.com/groups/thecoca-colaco

Hope to see some of you playing along and creating more beautiful pieces of art!

Branches, Roots, and Me

For the month of January I’m holding a contest based around trees. To enter all you need to do is link a photo you’ve taken that fits the theme to my Facebook page and on the last day of the month, I’ll be putting together a little parcel with all sorts of tree goodies and mailing it off to one lucky winner!

I’m a bit late on explaining why I chose trees as my contest theme (of which I plan to do more) but better late than never right!?

I grew up and still live in a rather small town, built in a valley between two mountain ranges that seemingly go on forever, I never noticed growing up how much I valued all of the nature that surrounded me, I just took it for granted and kept doing my homework and watching cartoons. Then once I hit my late teens and early 20′s something changed. I started to look at the endless expanse of green in a new light. I travelled to bigger cities and saw them in a new light too, I saw all the grey….all the glass and concrete and cars and all I wanted to see was green again. Once while on a cross-country road trip, I remember looking out the window to see the prairie fields and the endless sky and not a tree in sight…for hours it seemed I didn’t see anything that even resembled a tree, that was the first time I felt homesick.

 

I remember the exact day that I realized that the forest would be a place of solitude, reflection, and inspiration for me. I was jobless and had found myself feeling depressed and frustrated and getting sucked in to watching horrible daytime television in the comfort of my air conditioned basement suite. Then all of a sudden, I felt a sudden urge to just be out in nature, anywhere…just out. I grabbed my journal, a granola bar and apple and hopped on my mountain bike and within a few minutes I was away from everything manmade and surrounded entirely by nature. I sat in the warm summer grass and wrote. I wrote about how mad I was that I couldn’t find my passion, how disconnected I felt from the rest of the world, and how I just wished I could feel alive again. I went back the next day and rode a little longer, and then the day after that I tried some new trails and pretty soon I was spending hours every evening exploring every inch of the 9,000 acre community forest adjecent to my town. I found my place to be free.

A few years later when I started training for my first marathon I was looking for long stretches of running routes to carry me through the 20km runs I was doing every weekend. I remembered the community forest and the old logging road that winds it’s way from one end to the other and pretty soon it became once again, my nightly ritual. I’d run from one end to the other and back and when I turned my music off all I could hear was the crunch of my feet on the dirt, smell the wildflowers blooming in the fields and feel the warmth of the sun hitting my arms and neck through the breaks in the trees. Again I found myself thinking about my future, planning what I wanted to do with my life and feeling my body changing physically and mentally. The forest became yet another place for me to be free.

When I started to become interested in photography I would venture out into the forest, which is now about a 50metre walk from my door. When I step off the pavement and into the trails I feel like I’m leaving the outside world and entering into a space that I’m supposed to be in. It’s hard for me to explain but I look out at the trees and grass and birds (and sometimes bears) and I feel more inspiriation in that simple glance than I do spending days at home thinking. I feel that my thoughts are linked to the leaves and pinecones and that when I’m in the midst of all that organic goodness I’m recharging my brain and soul.

 

So yes….that’s why I chose trees. Because they make me feel alive and they make me feel like I’ve taken a deep breath of inspiration.

What do you consider to be your place of inspiration?